Did you know that having a “clean place” can produce a “happy face?” As a kid I never understood why we always had to clean the house before we went on a vacation or out of town. Mom would always say something like, “it just feels good to come home to a clean house!” Well, according to recent studies, maybe “mothers DO know best!

Apparently our brains really respond to our environment more than we may realize. In a hospital study done way back in 1984 patients undergoing gall bladder removal surgery were placed in two different types of recovery rooms after the operation. One type of room was a typical hospital room without a view while the other room simply had an outside view of an atrium or trees. Those with the “tree view” recovered more quickly and required less analgesic medications (pain pills)! An interesting find was that there were also “fewer negative nurse notes.” Whatever that means! (Roger ulrich et al. Science 1984)

Other studies show that seeing objects of beauty and other “preferred scenes” actually increase endorphin levels, or what I like to call the feel good juice in your brain! In other words, the quality of our surroundings can impact our mood and stress levels. When addressing depression and stress in one’s life there are many curative factors to consider such as diet, exercise, counseling, and for more severe cases medication may be in order. Now it seems that a good mood lifter or stress reducer could come from keeping a cleaner, more visually pleasant environment whether at home, at the office, or in your car (Biederman & Vessel. American Science 2006)!

I know it is easy to get behind in cleaning, and for some, the mess has become so overwhelming that the thought of trying to clean up is too much to face. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or hire someone to come in and give the old place a good spring cleaning. If you suffer with any depression or find yourself stressed out a lot, try bringing more beauty, sense of order, and cleanliness into your life. Some suggestions would be to buy plants for the office, bring fresh flowers in to the home frequently (even if you have to pick them from your neighbors garden), and keep your workspace, car, and home as clean and organized as possible. 

Do you control your thoughts, or do your thoughts control you? I recently heard that we humans churn up around 50,000 thoughts a day…that is A LOT of thinking going on! Most of these thoughts are going on at the subconscious level which means we are less likely to be aware of the specific thoughts we are having.

What do you catch yourself thinking about? Most of our negative thinking can fall into two categories: RUMINATION and WORRY. I would define rumination as anything that keeps our minds in the past. You think about everything you did wrong in a particular situation and keep kicking yourself for the “dumb” decisions you made. You might play the “what if” game and get caught up in thinking, “If I had only…” Before you know it, your mind is in a frenzy and the familiar feeling of being in that downward spiral has returned; a crash course leading depression, anxiety, mental fatigue and loneliness. When we worry, our minds are usually fixed on future fears and concerns. We worry about what could go wrong and about things that haven’t even happened, and may NEVER happen! I love what Mark Twain said about worrying: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

It seems a bit overwhelming and impossible to completely rid ourselves of unhealthy and unwanted thoughts. What may be more doable is recognizing the choice we all have in deciding how we will respond to the voice in our head that occasionally wants to derail our happiness and inner peace. There are many approaches to ridding ourselves of negative thinking. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is probably one of the most common approaches to gaining the upper hand on the emotional battle for positive thinking. CBT offers techniques to improve thinking from “thought stopping” If you want to read more about CBT, you can follow this link to the NAMI website.

For some, the CBT approach can be a lot of work and in some studies it has shown to lose effectiveness over time. Another approach to consider is addressed in the recently published book, The Mindful Way Through Depression: Freeing Yourself From Chronic Unhappiness. The authors give a step-by-step approach to learning to live mindfully. We talk about “living in the moment,” and “staying in the present,” and these guys really show you how to accomplish this! I plan to talk about this subject and say more about the book, and other similar resources soon.

As always, please comment on any future topics you want to see addressed! Thanks for your support and continued interest!

I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself!:) I used to be able to drink a whole pot of coffee in college and go straight to sleep with no problems…not so anymore! I sipped on three small cups at La Madeline this evening from about 8:30 to 10:00. There have been many studies done on the benefits and adverse effects of coffee. The jury is still out and so it really depends on the individual. It is well documented that coffee can have some unwanted side effects such as anxiety, insomnia, tremor, and irregular heartbeat. It can also irritate the digestive system, bladder and prostate. If you have experienced any of these problems you may consider your coffee intake as a possible contributing factor.

Dr. Weil has addressed the subject of coffee consumption and has a lot to say about it, both pros and cons.

http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA400146

I don’t plan on detouring my morning coffee fix, but I definitely need to consider cutting back when the sun goes down! :)

Dr Weil addresses a fairly new approach to treating depression and other mental health related issues.

I say, “Valentine’s Day.” You say, “_________?” Every year Cupid emerges and retailers converge on one of the most sacred of human emotions: LOVE. How are you gearing up for February 14^th this year? I would imagine that many of you are out there looking for that last minute token of love while others are going over their romantic plans for the evening. Some will spend the day the same way they spend any other day and will have no fancy reservations or love feasts in order! For many, this day will be one of remembrance of loved ones no longer here. Maybe you are spending Valentine’s Day alone this year and feel the weight of loneliness creeping in. My thoughts today are for those who have less than favorable feelings for this day.

Loneliness has to be one of the worst feelings in the world! I’m no stranger to the emotion. It feels awful; comparable to placing your heart in some kind of vice grip and just squeezing until it bursts. You feel tension building up in your gut and heaviness throughout your body. The things we think about don’t make us feel any better either! I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. What I do want to share with you is something that might help make this day just a little bit easier for you!

If you are not dating anyone right now, have just gone through a break-up, are living by yourself or feel that you will never find love, you are not alone! If you only get one thing out of this post today I want it to be the following message: There is NOTHING wrong with you. You are not “damaged goods,” “unlovable,” “unwanted,” “past your prime,” or any other negative descriptive identifier! So many people are exactly where you are right now in your life and struggle with the same feelings. You are perfectly lovable.

Ok, so how can we make Valentine’s Day bearable for the brokenhearted and lonely? My first suggestion: Don’t spend the day by yourself! The worst place we can be sometimes is by ourselves, alone with our thoughts. The longer we stay in isolation the more time we have to think about everything that we don’t like about our love life! Besides, nothing will change for the better if we stay behind closed doors! Go down to the park and breathe some fresh air. Get to the gym and pump some feel good endorphins into your blood stream! Put out a Tweet or Facebook request to see how many of your friends are in the same boat and feel like getting together. Why not volunteer your time at the local nursing home or retirement center and lift the spirits of someone that may have the lonely bug worse than you do! What other ideas can we come up with here?

No matter what this Valentine’s Day has in store for you, I wish you a happy one! Now, anybody know where can I still get some flowers to take to my Mom before it’s too late?!

Sitting down to write my introduction blog, I feel the weight of the world’s struggles on my shoulders. As a counselor I am often limited to only helping one person, one couple, or one small group at a time. I have thought a lot about using the internet as an aid to reach many more people on a broader scale and have decided that I have waited WAY too long to get involved! My main goal is to share the experience I have attained over the years to hopefully make a difference in someone’s life. Every hour spent, tear shed, or idea shared will be worth it if the only person helped by this effort is you.

It is my aim to pour my heart and soul into every word written or spoken, and as I listen to your feedback and suggestions, I will do everything I can to point you in the direction of healing. I will be sharing difficulties from my own life and addressing the common trials many, if not all of us, face in our lifetime. After all, we are human.

If you are hurting in any way I want to hear from you. Being human pretty much guarantees we will have a wide range of emotional experiences. We get depressed. Some of us stay depressed all the time. We experience anxiety. Some are too terrified to even venture outside their homes. We experience heartbreak and loss, grief and trauma, sadness and loneliness and many other emotions. Whatever your experience is, I hope to share something that will make sense to you and give you reason to believe that your life can improve.

All that I have to share will not and cannot substitute for counseling, medication management, or medical services in any way. If you have suicidal thoughts, it’s important that you seek help immediately. You are not alone. If you are located in the US, call 1-800-784-2433 or 911. You can also follow this link to find your local Suicide Hotline: www.suicidehotlines.com If you are outside the U.S. please visit this link: www.befrienders.org